detachment?

Is it possible for one to grow totally detached from the work they do? I seem to have. It just doesn't matter anymore what I do. Almost like an automaton.

There seem to be just two goals now: get a laptop and get out of here. The latter is being held over due to the former. I've more or less forgotten about anything else. I just keep working dumbly for the laptop and watch my bank balance grow. Heck, I feel the anticipation for getting a computing machine is greater then the machine itself is going to be. As Spock said "Having is not so pleasing after all as wanting. it may sound illogical but it is often true"
Hope I'll be able to find some(where/one) else to work for...

The one thing I find missing in my life is discipline. I just can't get myself to do stuff when it should be done. Rather I burn late nights late into the schedule and somehow finish it all. Though things have improved a lot in last one year. Still a long way to go though.

The problem seems to be that I almost got everything out of life very easy. Class 10th board exams? Didn't really register on my radar. Class 12th board exams? Barely bothered and consequently barely passed. Engineering Exams? Spent some time here and there and managed to get an 8th rank. Engineering? spent no real time on my core subjects and still got a 74% aggregate. Job placements? Mebbe I did work hard on my C/Unix. But I guess that's about it.

Seems to be a downward spiral of self-destruction. My ability to put in hard work has been dropping steadily.

The whole purpose of this self-agonizing self-pity analysis is to try to break the loop. Get some order back in life. I know there are no shortcuts, one just has to sit down and do it.

Starting now :)
Wish me luck....